Forty Eight Hours of Fabulous Fun
by SiriuslovesRemus
Summary: AU. A lot can happen in two hours! Fortyeight hours of adventure, romance, danger and fun ensue when Albus Dumbledore and the Hogwarts staff design a scavenger hunt to promote teamwork and innerHouse unity. MWPP era, multiple pairings.
1. Prologue: Splinched!

**There are a lot of notes here to explain the fic; I'd suggest reading them in order to understand better, but if you don't want to, just skip ahead. The prologue starts after the notes, and the first chapter is next. **

**Title:** Forty-Eight Hours of Fabulous Fun

**Rating:** 15+

**Main Characters:** Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, Doris Purkiss, Lily Evans

**Minor Characters:** Caradoc Dearborn, Marlene McKinnon, Emmeline Vance, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall

**Pairings:** Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Severus Snape/Lily Evans, Peter Pettigrew/Emmeline Vance, James Potter/Doris Purkiss, unrequited!James Potter/Lily Evans

**Genres:** Adventure, drama, slash, romance, angst

**Setting:** Marauders Era, 1977 (Marauders' seventh year)

**Summary:** AU. A lot can happen in two days. Forty-eight hours of adventure, romance, danger and fun ensue when Albus Dumbledore and the Hogwarts staff design a scavenger hunt to promote teamwork and inner-House unity. Multiple pairings, Marauders' Era.

**Challenge/Inspiration:** The idea for this fic comes from a challenge posted on by thatssoninties. It called for a scavenger hunt setting with some specifics. The full details are at http://forums. This fic includes occasional offensive language, which is mostly the fault of Severus Snape. I've tried not to be too obscene outside of Severus' dialogue, but swearing suits him and he does it a lot. Please be advised. Slash (Homosexuality), though not portrayed in an extremely graphic nature, is a part of this fic. If male/male pairings trouble you, I'd advise caution before reading on. Gay and straight sexuality is a topic that I've included, though most of it is minor and not graphic (see pairings above). Alcohol consumption and intoxication is included in one part of this fic but does not play a large role in the overall plot.

**A/N:** First off, tremendous thanks to the Harry Potter Lexicon for providing a lot of canonical facts that have helped my writing a great deal!

Sources: The quote "I assure you my friends, I am cone sold stober" is from the book _Howl's Moving Castle _by Diana Wynne Jones. "And when love speaks, the voice of all the gods makes heaven drowsy with the harmony" is of course from Shakespeare.

About animals: a number of fascinating creatures were taken from JKR's _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_. It is definitely a must read and I suggest you rush out and buy it right away. I also included mention of the Vodyanoy, a Russian-Scandinavian mythological creature. More information on it, including the folklore, can be found at Wikipedia.

About the characters: I've tried to keep my characterization accurate but appreciate feedback of all types that will allow me to improve my representation. Some of the lesser known characters I am using are minor at best; they scarcely receive mention in the books, though they are all canon. The majority of these characters come from the list of 1970's Order members found at the HP Lexicon. These include Marlene McKinnon, Caradoc Dearborn and Emmeline Vance. Doris Purkiss can best be remembered as the witch who claimed Sirius Black was really Stubby Boardman, or vice versa. Since little is known of these characters, I've designed them as I see fit and randomly assigned Houses to them based on what I know of their character and appearance.

I've also decided to include Peter Pettigrew in this fic and give him as much "air time" as the other Marauders, in order to keep to canon. For accuracy, I have chosen not to dumb him down or write him as exceptionally evil. It has always been my opinion that JKR intended him to be understood as one who made a great mistake later in life, and not as a wholly bad character. I've decided to write in the friendship he once enjoyed with his fellow Marauders and I've tried to portray him realistically.

I've tried to stick to canon with the Marauders, Lily and Severus, though of course my view of the characters has been irreparably altered by numerous fanfics. Major elements of Remus' personality come from canon, especially PoA, OotP and HBP. James is a conglomeration of canon Harry -- as Harry is often described as taking after James -- and the memories presented in canon and a bit of SBP's portrayal of him. Lily and Severus are derived mainly from Severus' own memories as seen in canon, especially DH as well as the memories of other canon characters. As for Sirius, I can state with certainty that he has lost his mind. He pretty much wrote himself this way. I can only assume the pirate imitations and his occasional odd manner of speaking are related in some way to his Moony obsession, or are the result of a Bludger to the head.

Let's get on with it, shall we?

* * *

_**Friday, 19:15...**_

"Success!" shouted Severus Snape, his hoarse voice a mixture of pride and pain as it welled up from deep within. Despite finally accomplishing his unenviable task, he felt completely exhausted. His throat was sore and his head spun. He was lying flat on his stomach with his robes entangled uncomfortably around his body. Ignoring this, he raised himself onto his elbows and looked around, wondering where he had landed. They were definitely not in Hogsmeade anymore, that was for sure. There was cracked pavement beneath him and it scraped the delicate flesh of his arms. Severus longed to drag himself over to the lush, freshly-mown Muggle lawn just a metre away, but his body was devoid of all energy. He thought this could be a result of losing a great deal of blood; indeed, already a scarlet pool had formed around him, dampening the trousers and robes he was dressed in. It was most uncomfortable, sticky and tacky against his skin, seeping into the expensive fabric of his clothing. _That stain is never going to come out, _he mused darkly.

Dizzy, Severus ignored his discomfort and shifted onto his back, where he stared resolutely ahead, wondering who would come to his rescue and precisely how long they would waste taking the mickey before they would put him back together. There was not a cloud in the sky. Overhead, the sun was completing its slow arc across the horizon, sending down hot rays like daggers, all of which made directly for Severus' pale skin. He could feel himself burning already, even in the flickering, feeble glow of the twilight sunshine. His pale skin had never been able to withstand the sun's tortuous rays. It was not the most significant pain he felt, however. Severus' thighs smarted and stung, but at least they remained attached to the rest of him. What concerned him was that he could not feel anything below his calves; splinched, he remained absolutely still, torn between congratulating himself and shouting for help. _Simply torn,_ he thought oppressively. _Splinched like a common first-year Mudblood._ To his left, someone chortled hysterically.

"Stop laughing, Black, you arrogant madman, and go find my feet," Severus snapped. He thrust his hand into his pocket, his fingers curling around his wand. "Go on, before someone sees them!" He pictured bewildered Muggles locating his severed limbs and sighed dramatically, hoping no one would make off with his disconnected feet before Sirius was able to locate them. "Useless fool," he added harshly, and then, when Black turned to go, "Take the fucking picture first you idiot Gryffindor."

Severus closed his eyes against the sudden flash of the Muggle-style camera in Sirius' hands, wondering why he had never bothered to take a course in elementary Healing. Severus supposed he could manage a spell to ebb the bleeding, if not put himself entirely to rights, but for the moment he merely savoured his victory, tainted though it was with the coppery fragrance of his own spilt blood and the rather horrific pain of being split in two. _Only one item left on the list,_ he assured himself grimly. Above him, Sirius merely giggled like one who had suffered a head injury, snapping pictures eagerly. Severus rested his head against the hard stone of the driveway, feeling his veins leak substance onto the cement.

The game was nearly done.


	2. The Dire Pronouncement

A/N: See first chapter for extensive notes

_**Twenty-four hours earlier...**_

Albus Dumbledore stood before the crowd, his blue eyes twinkling mischievously as he regarded the assembled students, all of whom were gazing up at him with rapt confusion.

"In the spirit of inner House cooperation –"

"Blimey," muttered James darkly, his hand stealing into the basket of rolls. He shoved two into his mouth, chewing reflectively. "He's not still on about that, is he? We've heard this speech since first year – all '_don't curse the Slytherins, they'll slime up the hall with their mucky blood_ ' and a fat lot of good it's done."

Ignoring the sharp stare from several nearby Ravenclaws, he rolled his eyes dramatically. "Gryffindors and Slytherins do not get on, ever. Ravenclaws almost always hate Hufflepuffs and the feeling is mutual. It's practically etched in history. In fact, it might literally be etched in history," he continued, glancing at Remus' ever-present copy of _Hogwarts: A History_. "Doesn't it say so in there?"

Remus narrowed his amber eyes and lovingly fingered the old volume, which was dog-eared and loosely held together by snapped binding. He drew himself to his full height, determined to look like the prefect he was. "Quiet. Some of us are actually trying to pay attention." His lecture was cut short when Sirius slammed the tome shut and hit him over the head with it, snickering obnoxiously at the resounding _bonk_. "Dammit, Sirius –"

"Shhh," Sirius hissed back, his own eyes wide and suddenly innocent. "Do you have to shout, Moony? I'm listening to the Headmaster."

"Sirius, if you don't – arrgh!" Remus cried, for Sirius had suddenly slid a hand under his jumper and had begun tickling his armpit with unnecessary ferocity. Twisting part-way out of his jumper, he made a move to distance himself, to no avail. Sirius tickled on, knowing, inexplicably, precisely the right place to run his fingers against Remus' sensitive skin. Thrashing about as he was, Remus' elbow nearly collided with Peter's jaw, his own homework and a pitcher of pumpkin juice before finally slamming into the silver teapot. Lukewarm tea gushed over his trousers, soaking Sirius' robes as well. "Get off!"

James controlled his outburst of laughter, barely. "Padfoot, Moony," he sighed, with dignity, though his lips twisted into a smirk. "I'm sure you're both bursting to rip off your robes and have at it right here in the midst of the Great Hall, but I'm afraid I need to remind you I've just eaten, and I shall be horribly sick if you insist on having a grope and snog in front of Peter and myself."

"Shut up, James," said Remus, with feeling. His cheeks burned brilliant pink, with horror, shame and barely disguised wanting.

"If you don't mind," piped up Peter, who had been watching the curious goings-ons with waning interest, "I think he said something about adventure."

"Ho ho," commented Sirius, appearing interested for the first time since Dumbledore had begun talking. He jumped up. "Adventure, d' y' say?" He continued on, in poor imitation of a pirate, complete with hand gestures presumably designed to simulate sword-fighting and parrot-catching. "M' boy, many a long year have I sailed the high seas in search of adventure. And 'nary a thought spared for the bleedin' saps lost to Davy Jones' locker have I entertained since the embarkation on my quest with my rabble and crew. If it's adventure ye be wantin', adventure ye shall have, me charming scalawag." He hit Peter hard on the shoulder and beamed triumphantly. "For treasure we seek, and bonnie lasses too." It was then that he noticed Professor McGonagall's penetrating dare, and he sat back down with dignity. "Argh."

A number of nearby Ravenclaws looked scandalised, though the closest Hufflepuffs convulsed with laughter. Headmaster Dumbledore, for his part, merely appeared tolerant. He peered at Sirius through his half-moon spectacles. "As I was saying, lessons will be on hold for the next few days so that activities can be presented in the name of inner-House unity." He waited for the muffled cheers and whispered conversations to die down before continuing. "We will begin with a scavenger hunt. Prizes will be awarded to those who complete their hunts in their entirety. All students will be paired off and given a list of items to be located with the time limit, which happens to be forty-eight hours. No," he added quickly, as a number of students began to grapple about for suitable partners. "There is a catch, I'm afraid."

"Here it comes," said Peter, glumly. He frittered away a piece of pork pie in the pocket of his billowing robes, mourning the long hours of tedious inner-House cooperation to follow. His Arithmancy homework – _impossible_, he thought, further subdued by the difficult task of ciphers and numerals and confusing little sums – was waiting on the unmade bed upstairs, but he doubted he would have any time to finish it as he was dragged along by a determined James, a bouncy Sirius and a cunning, well-read and entirely too eager Remus on the search for all manners of clues.

"All students will be paired with an individual from another House, which will hopefully open up the path of dialogue between the Houses and nullify the troublesome tendency towards self-segregation we have seen so blatantly displayed of late." Dumbledore's eyes lingered on the Gryffindors, James and Sirius in particular.

Peter frowned and scooped the last of his cold mashed potatoes into his mouth, masticating thoughtfully. "I'm not liking the sound of this."

"Me neither," confirmed James, who spied Remus' hopeful eyes and twitched. "Mind you, but it won't be half bad for Sirius; he's got girlfriends in all four Houses, and Remus, you get on well with most girls too, but I have no hope of pairing with Lily..."

"She wouldn't have you even if you could choose her, mate," Sirius reminded him, in good cheer. His cleverness was rewarded with a piece of steak and kidney pie smashed into his silky hair by a disgruntled looking James, which he flicked away mildly, not perturbed or chastened in the slightest.

"To ensure that this event proceeds as intended, Professor McGongall, Professor Slughorn, Professor Sprout and Professor Flitwick, along with myself, have assigned all pairings. When you are finished with your supper, please consult your Head of House to determine your partner. I shall like to remark in advance that no substitutions will be permitted." Dumbledore's cheery expression seemed even more delighted as he made this dire pronouncement. "We will reconvene in one hour, at which time the hunt will start."

"Bloody," decided James, giving Lily one last desperate glance as she rose elegantly from her seat, her unfinished meal abandoned, and strode over to Professor McGonagall in search of her partner. _Look at her legs!_ cackled the reverent, lustful voice inside his head. _Swishing under her skirt!_ He felt his shoulders sink as he watched her receive her assignment; her smile was rueful, but accepting, and she scooted over to the Ravenclaw table to join Caradoc Dearborn. "Bloody," he said again, for emphasis.

Sirius picked the last of the pie from his head and sucked his fingers reflectively, tasting crust. "May as well make the best of it," he decided. He watched Dorcas Meadows pick her way through the milling Hufflepuffs and hoped for the best. "Farewell, my one and only true love," he added as he jumped up from the table and cuffed Moony around the ear. "The time has come to pair myself with the lovely Miss Meadows."

"You're right, I suppose," James agreed reluctantly. "Remus, Peter, coming with? Strength through solidarity," he added, brooding.

They climbed from the table and approached McGonagall en masse. Sirius shoved aside a few first year Hufflepuffs who seemed to feel they were facing impending doom while Remus hissed under his breath and tried to hide the pleasure on his face when Sirius finally grabbed his wrist.

"Stop it – Padfoot – let go!"

"Moral support," came a thin voice through Sirius' gritted teeth.

Professor McGonagall raised her head wearily, taking in the lot of them and wondering what sort of unintentional mischief they would get into with their assigned partners. Deciding that it was likely to be less explosive then the _intentional_ mischief the foursome often found themselves in, she nonetheless administered her stern, unyielding gaze. She heaved a tremendous sigh and unfolded the large roll of parchment before her. Smoothly, she ran one finger down the list in search of their names.

"Lupin, Remus," she began, straightening her green hat so that it sat pertly upon her head. "I have you paired off with Miss Marlene McKinnon of Slytherin." She gestured to the elegant girl perched at the Slytherin table, her long, bronzed legs revealed beneath a short green silk skirt and robes.

Glancing over to her, Remus made a small sound in his throat. Sirius clapped Remus hard upon the chest in a makeshift imitation of the Heimlich manoeuvre. "Hmmm... 'elllo, 'ello, 'ello," he said throatily, waggling his eyebrows. "Lucky devil, Moony, even if she is a Slytherin."

McGonagall gave them a significant stare, which quieted things a bit. "Mr Potter, you're with Miss Doris Purkiss of Hufflepuff." She studiously ignored his outraged guffaw and permitted him to deflate slowly while she searched onward. "Ah, Mr Pettigrew, who do we have for you? Oh yes, the enchanting Miss Emmeline Vance of Ravenclaw," McGonagall informed him pleasantly, though with a certain amount of frowning aimed in James' general direction, as he was still stammering and looking put upon.

"What yonder beauty shall presently beseech my sparkling company?" wondered Sirius with an excess of passion as he looked around the Great Hall. He tipped forward, regarding McGonagall for a moment. "Will it be the nubile Lorraine Madley of Ravenclaw? The busty Angelica Abbott of Hufflepuff? Maybe we will even flout tradition – nay, the very law of nature – and find me a sexy Slytherin. I mean, if Remus can have a beautiful Dark Arts obsessed fascist to serve as his cuddle bunny for the duration of this exercise, why can't I?" He managed to look very put-out at the thought of being denied. "What about Evangelina Rosier, eh, she's leggy, or Camille Parkinson with that lovely –"

"Mr Black," said Professor McGongall forcefully. She sat up a little straighter, rigid in her determination to subdue him. "It is my duty – no, my pleasure – to inform you that you have indeed been paired with a student from Slytherin." She shot an undecipherable glance across the room, smiling ever so slightly. "And I assure you, long legs do enter in to the equation, though I've never seen them out of trousers." She waited, holding the name on the tip of her tongue. Vindictive pleasure suffused her as she thought of the numerous times she had caught Sirius idly flying bewitched paper aeroplanes or writing candid notes to Remus in her class. "Your partner for this little exercise in tolerance is...Mr Severus Snape, of Slytherin House."

All of the air seemed to have been sucked out of the Great Hall. Sirius sighed at length, like a punctured balloon. Ignoring James' and Peter's hysterical cackling and glaring at Remus's barely concealed smirk he struggled to determine the best way to coax McGonagall into giving him a new partner. "Professor," Sirius began. He abruptly fell short. His mouth hung open, but no words emerged. He was speechless with horror.

"I'm sorry, Mr Black, but you heard Professor Dumbledore. All pairings are final." Professor McGonagall crossed and uncrossed her legs beneath her table, feeling rather impressed with herself. It was the first time in living memory that she had been able to silence Sirius Black for more than ten seconds. "I suggest you locate Mr Snape and prepare for the distribution of lists. The scavenger hunt begins at quarter past. There are some charming prizes for the winners, you know."

"But – but – but," Sirius stammered. "But," he added once more, as though for clarification.

"Snape, the greasy git," shouted Peter, triumphant. He danced around Sirius like a moon in orbit, altogether too cheerful. Flushed, his pink face seemed to glow. "Ha! And I thought Vance was something awful," he crowed, pointing out the chubby, frightened-looking young witch at the Ravenclaw table, who appeared rather ill at the prospect of their pairing. "But you've got Snape!"

Remus' hand floated down onto Sirius' shoulder and Sirius thought his legs might give out under that reassuring grip. "I'm sure it won't be so bad," said Remus gently, lying through his teeth. "Anyway, it's only two days."

James was having none of it. He pointed and howled in a rather accurate imitation of Peter, his dark hair mussed and his glasses off-centre. "Oh," he choked gleefully. "Never thought I'd live to see the day – you and Snivellus! Well, it serves you right, saying Lily wouldn't have me."

"She wouldn't," said Sirius. He felt wounded. The room seemed to sway around him and he found himself wishing the floor would open up and swallow him. Across the room he could see Severus, frozen like a deer in headlights at the Slytherin table, his great oversized robes billowing around him like gathering thunder heads. "Pinch me," he requested of Remus. "I'm having a nightmare."

"Sorry mate," James said easily. "You're awake."

"I'm in Hell, then," Sirius stated emotionlessly. He wondered for a moment if that might not be the case. _A foul, unspeakable sort of Hell specifically for unrepentant Gryffindors_, _and I'm paired with the devil himself,_ he mused darkly, biting on his bottom lip. He wanted to do any number of things: hex Snape; run screaming from the room; hex Snape; deck James; call McGonagall and Dumbledore any number of choice words, and hex Snape.

Remus snorted. "Hell? That's a bit melodramatic, isn't it, Padfoot?"

"You know, it could be fun, this game," chimed in Peter. He glanced over at Emmeline Vance and felt his heart began to pound with anticipation, anxiety and excitement. "Let's make the best of it."

James uttered a laugh that betrayed no amusement. "Easy for you to say, you're not paired with a Hufflepuff nutter. Purkiss," he sighed. "My rotten luck. Still, at least she's no Snape." His laughter became more genuine as Peter joined him. Even Remus had to smile a bit.

Sirius glowered at the lot of them. "It's all fun and games until someone pairs you off with a Slytherin," he retorted miserably, glaring at his traitorous friends.


	3. Specifics

_**Thursday, 19:55...**_

"Do you have to have such a giant nose, Snivellus? Only it's blocking all my light," Sirius stated cruelly as he shoved the other boy aside, grasping the scavenger hunt list from a startled-looking Professor Burbage's hand. Snatching the piece of parchment from the Muggle Studies professor, he jerked away from Severus' grasp. "No, don't touch it, you'll get grease over everything," he snapped. The taunts did little to improve his morale, however, and his heart sank as he looked over the list. "A true love's kiss?" he remarked, surprised. He'd expected they were supposed to find hidden treasures. "Like that will happen. Who would kiss you, right Snivelley? Something stolen from Filch's office – that I can manage. Too bad I'm not partnered with James, we'd be done in a flash."

Severus elbowed the disgruntled Muggle Studies teacher aside, grabbing for the parchment. He felt embarrassed to have her watch him suffer insults from Black; they'd never be close, but he had enjoyed Muggle Studies early on, when he had been able to share his findings with Lily. That, of course, had been before their falling out, and before he had become further entrenched in the confusing, propaganda-filled politics that embroiled Slytherin House.

"Oh, bother. Are you really so childishly selfish, or just blind? Must we add near-sightedness to your appallingly long list of flaws, Black?" retorted Severus, making another grab for the paper. His fingers almost closed around the parchment before Sirius pulled it from his grasp. "Need I remind you we are in this together? As we are in this most unenviable situation, I should think devoting ourselves to quickly completing the scavenger hunt would be the wisest course of action. I don't wish to remain in your presence any longer than necessary" He glared at the other boy. "I'd prefer not to catch fleas."

"Wash your hair more than once every decade, then, why don't you," said Sirius mildly. He was too engrossed in the scavenger hunt list to think of a proper insult. "Hang on. They're barking! How are we supposed to be in two places at once?"

"Separate," decided Severus. The solution seemed marvellously straightforward.

Sirius shook the paper under Severus' large nose. "Read it, you stupid arse. It calls for one partner to be in two places at once while the other takes a photograph. How do you propose we meet that requirement, oh ye of excess oil?"

"Get splinched," retorted Severus, as both an explanation and an insult. He stared longingly across the room to where Lily was sitting with her legs curled under her. Beneath a gently waving Ravenclaw banner, she reached out and patted Caradoc Dearborn's hand, laughing at some comment he had made. Severus felt himself burn with desire and envy. _If only I hadn't shouted at her...but who would think Lily Evans incapable of forgive and forget?_

Sirius dropped the piece of paper and languidly threw himself back into his seat, one arm resting over his eyes in a gesture of surrender. "You have it then, Snivellus. I'll just lay here, broken in spirit –"

"– cracked in mind," finished James, who had wandered over to see how his best mate was fairing. Bouncing alongside him was Doris Purkiss, a seventh year Hufflepuff, who was beaming as though she had won a thousand galleons in the lottery. "I've come to see how you're holding up. I've ascertained things are going badly. Cheer up mate, it's only forty-eight hours, as Remus did try to tell you. Anyway, it could be worse." He tried to imagine how, and shuddered. "Speak of the devil...have you seen poor Remus?"

The two of them glanced across the Great Hall to the Slytherin table where Remus sat looking flustered and embarrassed as Marlene McKinnon drilled him on the books he had read. Every time he opened his mouth to comment, she interrupted him. Several times she even nudged him in the back, forcing him to straighten his posture.

"Poor bloke," said Sirius, consolingly. "Like somebody's evil stepmother, she is."

"The domineering yin to his submissive housewife yang," agreed James. "Anyway, we'd best be getting back down to it. Doris and I are trying to find out where they hid that statue of St Mungo –"

"Now that has gone too far," thundered an irate Severus all at once, making James, Sirius and Doris Purkiss jump. His hands shook so hard that the list he held rattled. "Absolutely intolerable – hideous invasion of privacy – " Given over to anger, he stammered, red in the face. "Look at this," he pronounced fiercely, throwing the list at Sirius. "Outrageous!"

Sirius smoothed out the rumpled parchment, his eyes scanning the list for anything offensive. "I don't see anything – oh," he finished, his voice small. A horrible urge to laugh out loud bloomed within him, which he restrained solely for the sake of James, who was looking on curiously. "Something from Lily Evan's lingerie drawer?" he read, barely controlling his smirk.

"What?" demanded James, red-faced and on the war-path.

"That's what it says. We have to find it. Pity you're not partnering with us, o Jamesy," began Sirius, when he was interrupted by the Headmaster's booming voice.

"You may have noticed," called Dumbledore over the rising din of a number of outraged, confused and entirely too giggly students. "That some of your lists call for items of a rather personal nature. In the interest of giving you all something to talk about while you start on your journey, we have supplemented your unique lists with the wishes of those you last spoke to. The items in question have been selected by those nearest you." When questions began to filter, Dumbledore explained further. "Whatever the person nearest to your pair was thinking about exactly sixty seconds ago has now become your exclusive item."

"James?" asked Sirius lightly, his eyes bright. "Care to explain?"

James shook his head, ignoring Sirius' teasing expression and Severus' murderous one. "Not really." He turned his attention instead to his list. "What've we got, I wonder." His expression screwed up. "One very naked Remus Lupin?" he asked, flabbergasted. His mouth hung open in mute shock as he jerked his head up, gaping at Sirius.

"Was that mine?" Sirius asked a nauseated Severus, supremely innocent as he fluttered his long eye-lashes. "Or were you thinking about him too?"

"I hope a picture will suffice," said James as Doris collapsed into fits of giggles behind him.

* * *

**If you loved it, praise it. If you hated it, criticise it. If you have suggestions or comments, post them. Reviews are love!**


	4. The Drowning Horse

_**Thursday, 20:55...**_

They had been trudging through the squelchy mud near the edge of the lake for nearly twenty minutes. Remus, who had eyed the waxing sickle moon the whole while, suppressed a shiver as he heard the owl call in the distance and the thin rustle of wind through the drying leaves overhead. Something mysterious pumped through his blood, singing a call as old as time, and he felt his heart quicken at the thought of the impending full moon and the transformation that would follow.

"I'm not entirely sure there are kelpies in the lake at all," he said softly, trudging behind McKinnon, who had her wand out and was prodding a lily pad. "Maybe if we –"

"Quiet," she barked, imperious and Slytherin. She bent down, her wand skimming the surface of the black water.

Remus cleared his throat, inhaling the chill air. "The list says kelpie fur," he said, for what seemed to be the tenth time. "I say we check Professor Slughorn's office, that cupboard where he keeps his potions stores. There's bound to be some kelpie hair in there. Anyway, even if we do manage to coax a kelpie up out of the water, what exactly will we use to subdue it?" He thought of his Defence Against the Dark Arts text and shuddered. "They fight."

"You watch," instructed McKinnon. She sighed, glancing over at her partner. He stood grey and meagre in the sombre moonlight, looking distinctly uncomfortable, his boots sinking in mud. _Remus Lupin_, she wondered to herself. _How did I get stuck with him?_

Something green-gray and scaly hit the water then, making small ripples that floated to the bank, disturbing the long grass. A frog hopped beneath the lake's surface and Remus stiffened. Marlene bent ever lower, her wand out and her eyes wide, anticipating the sight of the kelpie.

Sure enough, it rose then, bubbling the dark water and splashing lightly against the assembled lily pads and cattails. For a moment Remus hovered, perplexed and excited, ready for a nice bath when the kelpie's hair had been surrendered, but the next moment he blinked. Next to him, Marlene let out a shrill cry.

The thing rising from the deep was no kelpie. For the briefest of moments, Remus thought of mermen. Surely, the creature had their long, tangled hair and murky skin. However, it quickly ascended in the form of human, darker and more frightening than any merperson. Its beard seemed to stretch on for eternity, a dark cloak of grey entwined with algae. His hands, Remus noted almost clinically through his panic, were connected with translucent webbing, but his eyes were pure scarlet, flashing like rubies.

"I – I –," he stammered hopelessly, flailing backwards as the creature – part man with a shining tail, yet more hideous than any fish – dragged itself through the mire. Its teeth were sharp and pointed and its webbed fingers reached out a cool, slimy touch on Remus' neck.

"Get back," hollered Marlene. Without warning she shoved him so hard that Remus lost his balance and landed on his bum in the damp grass. "Protego!" she shouted, casting an invisible shield between herself, Remus and the bedraggled, drowned-looking man who was slowly making his way nearer. The shield burst like a bubble at his touch. "Glisseo!"

The sucking mud swirled beneath the creature's body, forming a slippery slide that threatened to cast him back into the deep. Inexplicably, the creature moved ever nearer, its fingers grasping for purchase and terrible squeaking sounds emerging where its awful tail slid forward.

"Oh, Merlin," breathed Marlene. She cast her eyes on Remus. "Lupin! Do something."

"T – Transmogrify," said Lupin, holding out his wand in one shaking hand. It was the only curse that came to mind, and he remembered – wildly, out of breath – Sirius using it on a stray cat on Hogsmeade. Not certain what the effects would be, he clenched his wand harder, trying to stop the inane drumming of his heart.

The man-creature cast a baleful red eye on Remus, but his fingers slipped from Remus' throat, then fisted Remus' jumper and at last retreated a pace. For a moment, he opened his maw, emitting a rotten, stinking odour; the next second he had turned himself into a shining silver fish and was gone, having thrown himself back into the lake.

Remus tried to rise and dropped heavily back down on the bank. He scooted away from the water which licked his boots, his heart thumping and his breathing shallow. "What was that?"

"Vodyanoy," Marlene stated with certainty. She gave Remus a grateful look, flooded with thanks. "Nice work. I thought we were done for." Remus nodded in urgent agreement, but she continued. "None of my spells worked. I should have remembered, it's almost impossible to make contact, given all the muck on their bodies. Lucky thing yours worked."

"Yeah, lucky. Here." He managed to get to his feet and helped Marlene up. "Potions stores?"

"Potions stores," she agreed heartily.

They turned to go, but Remus, whose senses were acute, paused, believing he had heard a sound. A shiver went through him. The noise was silky, eerie -- utterly horrifying. Remus felt a cold finger of fright trace down his back and he exchanged a glance with McKinnon, who was wide-eyed. Slowly, wands out, they turned around.

It was not the vodyanoy back for another attempt at strangulation, Remus noticed with surprise. It as only a horse. Small and forlorn it stood at the water's edge looking at them with soulful eyes. Relief flooded Remus and he slumped against his companion's shoulder a moment. The little pony neighed ever so slightly, a hopeful call in the dismal dark, and Remus found himself stepping closer despite McKinnon's sharp fingers biting into his arm.

Under his palm, the horse's silver-grey skin was icy cold and permeated with damp. Briny water dripped from its black mane and it shivered, stamping a nervous hoof into the mud. Inexplicably, Remus felt a desire to climb aboard the horse's back. He had never been particularly interested in horseback riding before, but the urge was overwhelming. He pressed a hand to the frigid flank of the beast and was just about to swing a leg over it when Marlene pulled him back.

"Are you mad? That's a kelpie!" she hissed. "Seco," she called out, wand at the ready, and a piece of drenched and dripping mane was instantly severed from the horse's body. "Accio," she hissed, summoning it to her as she shoved Remus. "Let's go."

Remus blanched. The dutiful, pathetic pony had transformed before their eyes. It gave off an imperious stare and snorted, throwing plumes of breath from its nostrils, which turned to fog in the cold air. Slowly, it took a step forward, shaking the ground beneath it. The thing seemed hardly to move but Remus suddenly realised he was nearly cut off; the horse had almost blocked the path back to the castle and Remus stood between it and the water.

Abandoning all pretense as the horse suddenly charged, Remus grappled with his wand. He found himself abruptly standing in knee-deep water; the disturbed lake splashed all around him as the kelpie nudged him further out, into deeper water. "Levicorpus," he shouted into the silence, his wand at his own temple. The kelpie bucked, neighed and moved again at him, but Remus was suspended in mid-air, out of the icy lake and barely beyond the horse's reach.

"Accio Lupin," shouted Marlene as the horse reared onto its back legs, bucking in an attempt to snare him. She staggered away from the reeds and the violent kelpie. When Remus descended at her side, she gave him an incredulous look. "Run!"


End file.
